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Jimmy Kimmel & Guillermo at a Fortune Cookie Factory


>>Jimmy: AS YOU KNOW, BROOKLYN IS HOME TO MANY GREAT COOKS AND ARTISANS AND BAKERS. IT IS ALSO HOME TO THE WORLD’S BIGGEST MAKER OF FORTUNE COOKIES. THEY ARE BASED IN BROOKLYN AND THEY HAVE A FACTORY IN LONG ISLAND CITY. I HAPPEN TO LOVE A GOOD FORTUNE COOKIE SO WE TOOK A FIELD TRIP TO LEARN HOW THEY PUT A FORTUNE IN THE COOKIES AND TO LEARN MAYBE HOW TO WRITE OUR OWN.>>THIS IS THE PLACE?>>Jimmy: YEAH. LET’S CHECK THIS OUT. ALL RIGHT.>>HEY, JIMMY.>>NICE MEETING YOU.>>DID YOU CARRY THEM ALL?>>Jimmy: CAN WE COME IN? WE’RE EXHAUSTED.>>WELCOME TO WONTON FOOD.>>Jimmy: HOW DO I LOOK?>>YOU LOOK GOOD TOO.>>SO THESE ARE THEM. THE BATTER GOES FROM UP HERE TO DOWN HERE TO ALL THE MACHINES. THEY GET BAKED >>Jimmy: WHEN YOU SAY YOU GET BAKED, THESE PEOPLE ARE HIGH?>>I MEANT THE COOKIES.>>Jimmy: THE COOKIES THEMSELVES. OKAY.>>HOW MANY FORTUNES ARE IN ONE OF THESE ROLLS?>>Jimmy: 4,000.>>I DIDN’T WRITE EVERYONE OF THEM. DO PEOPLE WHO ARE GLUTEN FREE EVER JUST BUY THE ROLL?>>NO. WE DON’T SELL THE PAPER BY ITSELF.>>Jimmy: WE’RE GOING TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY YOU AND I. I WOULD LOVE TO HELP BUT I KNOW GUILLERMO ALSO WOULD LOVE TO HELP WRITE SOME FORTUNES. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.>>THEN YOU NEED TO MEET THE COMMITTEE.>>Jimmy: DOES IT HAVE TO BE UNANIMOUS?>>YES. IT DOES.>>LADIES AND GUYS OR JUST GUYS?>>BOTH.>>WITH THE LADIES WE’LL DO GOOD.>>Jimmy: OH, YEAH, ESPECIALLY WITH THESE HATS. THIS IS WHERE YOU WRITE THE FORTUNES?>>THIS IS WHERE WE WRITE THE FORTUNES.>>Jimmy: IT IS NOT AS MAGICAL AS I IMAGINED. THIS IS WHERE PEOPLE’S FATES ARE DECIDED IN A CUBICLE? IT IS QUITE POETIC IF YOU THINK ABOUT LIFE AND THE PLIGHT OF THE AMERICAN WORKER.>>WE’LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE TIME.>>Jimmy: WE’LL WORK ON IT.>>AND I’LL COME BACK AND JOIN YOU.>>Jimmy: THANK YOU. WE’LL GET TO WORK.>>I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING. WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?>>I PUT MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING BUT YOU CAN BUY A LOT OF EXPENSIVE THINGS.>>IS THAT GOOD?>>YEAH. I’M GOING TO WRITE IT ALSO. MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING.>>THAT’S NOT THE CHEATING?>>WHAT CHEATING?>>THAT WAS MY IDEA.>>Jimmy: NO, NO. GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE.>>MEXICAN FOOD IS BETTER THAN CHINESE FOOD.>>Jimmy: MEXICAN FOOD IS BETTER THAN CHINESE FOOD.>>IT IS ALMOST THE SAME THING.>>Jimmy: ALMOST. BUT NOT EXACTLY. I HAVE A PERIOD AT THE END OF MY SENTENCE. I THINK HE’S WATCHING US. WHAT ABOUT THIS? PAY YOUR BILL AND GO HOME.>>THAT’S A GOOD ONE.>>Jimmy: THERE’S FRIED RICE IN YOUR GOATEE.>>FORTUNE COOKIE IS LIKE A WIFE. YOU MAY GET A GOOD ONE OR YOU MAY NOT.>>Jimmy: I LIKE IT. IF YOU READ THIS OUT LOUD, YOU WILL GET SYPHILIS.>>WOW, THAT’S A GOOD ONE.>>Jimmy: YEAH, THANK YOU.>>SO HOW ARE YOU DOING?>>Jimmy: I THINK WE’RE DOING WELL. WE WROTE A BUNCH OF THEM. I FEEL LIKE THE VETTING COMMITTEE WILL LOVE THEM. IT WOULD BE GREAT IF WE COULD GET AN ENDORSEMENT FROM YOU TO THE COMMITTEE BEFORE WE START.>>EXCELLENT.>>Jimmy: LET’S DO IT. I’M REALLY NERVOUS RIGHT NOW.>>ME TOO.>>I’M THE LAST MEMBER OF THE COMMITTEE.>>Jimmy: YOU’RE THE VETTING COMMITTEE?>>YES, I AM.>>Jimmy: THIS IS MY FRIEND GUILLERMO. HE WILL BEGIN WITH MY FIRST IDEA.>>MY FIRST IDEA.>>Jimmy: THAT’S WHAT I SAID. READ IT.>>YOU ARE ABOUT TO EAT A COOKIE.>>Jimmy: CUTE, RIGHT?>>ALICE LIKES IT.>>I GOT ONE.>>Jimmy: THANK YOU, ALICE. MAYBE YOU’LL LIKE MINE MORE. HOW MANY ORANGE CHICKENS HAVE TO DIE BEFORE YOU PEOPLE ARE HAPPY? [ LAUGHTER ] WE EVEN LOST ALICE ON THAT ONE. GO AHEAD, GUILLERMO.>>DON’T ORDER BEST IF THEY’RE NOT FRESH.>>Jimmy: YOU WILL SOON BE COMING INTO A LARGE SULL OF BED, BATH AND BEYOND COUPONS. YOU’RE KILLING ME. HOW ABOUT THIS? YOU WILL FIND LOVE IN A STARBUCKS BATHROOM. LUCKY NUMBERS 13, 18, 27, 9. ALL THUMBS DOWN?>>SOMEONE WILL BUY YOU A TEQUILA SHOT. WOW! CONGRATULATIONS! I GOT 100, YEAH! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!>>I THINK WE SHOULD MAYBE HAVE A TEQUILA SHOT.>>I HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME TEQUILA.>>Jimmy: I HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME SHOT GLASSES. HOW DO YOU SAY CHEERS IN CHINESE? ♪>>Jimmy: THAT WAS FUN, HUH? NICE PEOPLE. GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE FORTUNE COOKIES, WILL YOU?>>HERE.>>Jimmy: THANK YOU. MINE SAYS, NEW AND REWARDING OPPORTUNITIES WILL SOON DEVELOP FOR YOU. THAT’S BAD NEWS FOR YOU.>>LET ME READ MINE. YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET HIT BY A BUS.>>Jimmy: WHAT?>>YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET HIT BY — [ CRASH ]

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